Over the summer, I received a piece of news related to my financial situation that caused me to become exceptionally worried. Due to a series of events both inside and outside my control, I found myself with several thousand dollars in a bank account that I currently have no access to.
Obviously, this news changed my plans regarding this semester, as this money is key to helping me pay for the next several years of college. Upon hearing the news, I became rather anxious.
In and of itself, being anxious or worried is nothing new for me. I can remember multiple times over the past year where I was so worried about something I lost my appetite and felt physically ill.
One particular moment that springs to mind is the last week before finals during the first semester when I was nervous about maintaining my GPA. However, this time was different because I realized the root of my issue was not my uncertainty about the future but my failure to trust God with my future.
For as long as I could remember, the future had represented hope, something better than the present. This mindset led me to always look forward and plan down to the smallest detail. Anything that interfered with the way I envisioned things would happen would cause a petrifying sense of worry to overcome me.
This past summer when I was feeling anxious, my immediate inclination was to turn to my friends for advice first. One of the people I spoke to corrected my thinking by asking, “Have you prayed about it yet?” Reluctantly, I admitted that it had not even occurred to me.
The words of my friend convicted me, and I sought advice from God through prayer and the Bible. My mind was quickly drawn toward the words of Christ in Matthew 6:26-27. “Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?”
If God provides and cares for the animals and plants He made, what cause do I have to worry? No matter what happens to me, whether my future plans come to fruition or I die in my sleep tonight, God is in control of my life. For someone like me who desperately tries to maintain control, this thought can be humbling because it means that I cannot maintain control since I never possessed it to begin with.
Later in the chapter comes instruction on what I should be focused on instead of my idea of the future. Verses 32 and 33 state, “For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
When I was reading this, I could not help but remember what one of the officers in my society told me last year: “Focus on God, and everything else will fall into place how He wants it.”
Although this was only one small incident in my life, I hope I will remember it going forward whenever I come across something I cannot handle alone.
I imagine this will be difficult, and I will need constant reminders, but I want to focus my life on God and let Him do what He wills with my future regardless of where that takes me.
Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.